Frog made Flower laugh by jumping about and croaking at night. Because Flower was usually awake at night, it was music to her ears.

Frog was so happy when he first saw flower. He just felt so.. Green sometimes, just like everything else –the pond, the leaves, and the moss. Flower added that special dash of color. So they fell in love.

Frog would eat every insect that bothered Flower and gave her water from the pond when the weather was hot and dry. He would sing to her at night. He was very devoted.

Flower would entertain him with stories and scent and the subtle dance she makes when a soft breeze was blowing. When he was hungry she would whisper to him where the insects were hiding. She was very supportive.

But after some time, they each became wrapped up in their own affairs. Flower was a flower and concerned with plant things, like the sun, and the weather, and how deep the fertile soil was.

Frog was a frog and was concerned with frog things: catching insects, how deep the water was, how many other frogs were there in the pond who compete for food. So they grew apart.

One day Flower said, “I miss you, Frog.”

Frog said, “I’m in love with someone else, Flower. She’s a frog too.”

And so they parted sadly ever after.

1. There are no dates when I first accessed the site, and

2. The original URL becomes a mystery as well, because the browser would open the saved website from my  computer or flash drive.

This is the major reason that I need a PDF printer when doing research online, on a public computer. I print the website, and the original link is conveniently placed on the upper right header, and the date I accessed it is on the lower left footer. Perfect for those who need to cite these things.

Unfortunately, not all internet cafes offer pdf printing for free. So I usually install a pdf writer on the computer I’m using, and if it doesn’t work well with IE, I unzip a firefox portable and use that instead.

My favorite PDF printers so far are:

DoPDF – really easy to use, small file size, no bells and whistles, doesn’t need .NET passport or ghostscript, you don’t have to be online for it to work, customizable resolution up to 2400 dpi.

PDF reDirect – if you need to merge PDF files, this is it. The interface isn’t pretty though.

If you’re not converting an entire book that needs all the resource hogging features of the more expensive competition, these PDF tools are more than enough to do the job.

For PDF viewers, my favorite is Foxit, hands down. It’s really fast, and the latest version integrates well with Firefox. I love the tabs for viewing multiple files. But READ EVERYTHING during installation or you might end up with more than you asked for. It has a portable version too.

My second choice is Sumatra portable. Lightweight, as expected of a portable app so it launches in the blink of an eye.

Acrobat reader is still a little bit slow for me.

There are add-ons to firefox that do make research a little easier, but I find that pdf files are more convenient for working on different computers, especially when working offline. There are still computers that are not connected to the internet and if you’re one of those who have one, well, you’re not alone. =)

She was wearing pink and smiling. Right when I was mulling over the word “respect.”

And then it hit me: respect is like a smile. It isn’t earned from you. It is something you freely give to others because of who you are inside, not because of the person you give it to.

You smile when you’re happy, right? You smile at the dog, at the cell phone load vendor, at anyone, even if they didn’t directly make you happy. It could be a tiny smile, just a crinkle in your eyes, or the wide grin of someone who has accomplished a feat. You smile when you’re happy, it’s human nature.

I mean, she smiled at me today and I didn’t even do anything to deserve that smile, she was just happy.

Now if you’re a respectful person you also give that respect to everyone, whether or not they deserve it.

You nod to the Priest “good morning” not because he deserves your courtesy greeting, but because it’s natural for you to be respectful. Out of respect for the other viewers, you automatically switch your cell phones to silent mode in the movies not because they deserve your respect (heck you don’t even know them) but because it’s natural for you to be considerate.

Respect is like that. It’s like a smile. You give it to others whether they deserve it or not because it’s who you are (or who you want to be).

There are a lot of people who say, “I’ll respect you if you deserve my respect,” it’s a bit, I don’t know.. arrogant I guess. Who the heck am I to think that others have to “deserve” respect from me, I’m nobody.

Respect is like a smile. It’s free. And because it’s free, in my opinion it counts for almost nothing compared with other virtues like honesty, loyalty, integrity. Unlike respect, those three can really take a lot from you and you have to choose, really carefully who you give these to.

There are people who grew up on the streets who never use polite words like “po” or “opo,” who spout off “poo-tang-ina” (sonuvabitch) in between all their sentences, who would call their elders by their first names and make fun of everyone behind their backs, gossip without respect for privacy, who lie and cheat and steal just for the fun of it. Jerks. Assholes. Thugs. Bitches. I know a few.

But once they become your friends, real friends, these people would stand right beside you in any fight in hell, would never desert you, never lie to you, and would always ALWAYS come through for you and stand by their word to you. Loyalty. Honesty. Integrity. You don’t give these to just anybody.

I say respect counts for “almost” nothing because, well, it’s icing on the cake and icing has its uses. It can enhance the natural goodness underneath or hide a tasteless, crappy piece of bread. Politicians are experts at this, and those in power. You can never tell if the icing is the real thing or just a camouflage.

Because being “respectful” can actually make you seem like a decent person even if you’re not. Even if you lie. And cheat. And steal. In secret.

Just like a smile when it is used to hide the pain inside.

There is magic in seeing the moon rise. It makes me feel old, like I’ve seen it a million times over a hundred lifetimes. Like a switch inside your head releasing a flood of memories so fast you can only grasp the feelings behind them, never the images. Everything is bathed in light and you are compelled to feel the present as well, remembering the past, and wondering about the future.

How the moon would still be there even when you’re gone. How it was there before you were. How many lives and civilizations the moon bore witness to. How many more would it endure, how many would I remember in the next life.

Most of all it makes me feel human. In the time it takes for the moon to peep over the horizon up to a comfortable viewing angle I feel centered. Over all the fleeting memories and emotions under the moon’s compelling light it is then that I truly know who I am and what I’ve been through. For the moment I am free.

——-
From:

Daisy: the personal zine. December 2002.

In my mind
I fell a hundred times
into your gentle depths
while waiting for the boat.
Would I see those lights
dancing from down below?

A child grows restless
The old patiently wait.
I am neither. Yet I am both.
The ferry arrives
humming a song
as the sun dips lower
into the horizon.

Life is a strange illusion
like riding a boat.
As the wind whips through your hair
and stings your face,
you look around and wonder

Is it really you
passing through time
while the world holds still–
Or is the world passing through
your life in an amazing
spectacle of colors
fading into the sunset?

But I myself am fading.

Silently I reach out
to grasp at the remaining
fragments of light
on the water.
I smile as they cling to my skin,
and I fade no more.

Now I see
it was my final breath
that carried the radiance
into your melancholy depths.
You needed me
to finally capture the sunset
As I needed you
to keep my self from fading.

The boat hums an elegy
as it reaches the other bank
without me.

________

From:
Arboleda, D. “River Crossing.” January 2006. Blank Paper Will Always Be At The Ready. Eds. Marie Bismonte, et al. Guniguni: the Absent Muse Volume 1 Number 1. 43-44.

1. Use the templates. Okay? The colors have been preselected so it wouldn’t hurt your poor audience’s eyes. No need to fear that you won’t be original as there are so many to choose from that it’s not likely you’ll run into another person using the same template in that class/seminar/conference/meeting.
2. Use bullets. Avoid paragraphs like the plague. It’s so tempting to just cut and paste from your report, but do cut and paste PHRASES, not whole sentences. If you MUST use long paragraphs, put only one per slide. JUST ONE,and keep it within 6 lines.
3. Maintain 6-8 bullets per slide, or just 8-10 lines TOTAL (including line breaks). Just because 14 -16 pt fonts look absolutely large and readable on your laptop DOESN’T mean it will be on the big screen. Font size 20-28 are okay.
4. If you have a lot of bullets for a main idea, SPLIT it into 2 or more slides. No need to cram everything in one page. It’s better to have 2 slides with 4 bullets each than 8 bullets in one slide.
5. Separate pictures/graphs/tables from the text when you lay-out. This is for when you have to print handouts. Do not overlap them when all the animations are done (assuming you still have time to do animations). Otherwise, two things can happen:
   • Your audience will ask, “Hey what happened to the text on this page?” and you’ll realize “Oh it’s just under all those pictures.”
   • When your handouts are printed as black and white, your audience won’t scrunch their eyes reading black text over a dark picture.
6. Avoid exotic fonts. Again, use the templates. When you plug your flash drive on someone else’s computer and it doesn’t have that font, the program will substitute “regular” fonts and it’s gonna come out weird. Text and pictures will overlap or go off the screen, tables and graphs will be blown out of proportion, etc.
7. And finally, if you’re really in SUCH a mad rush and you honestly don’t quite know how to make a decent powerpoint, draft the text, prepare the pictures you wanna use, and BEG A FRIEND to help you out. Treat him/her to a beer afterwards, or do him a favor in return, do his laundry for a day or something.

Please, just make your presentations readable. On screen and in hard copy. It’s your content that matters, and that you get that content across to your audience. Good luck.

One day, when I am perhaps a little more skilled than some (and if I’m still alive and able) then maybe I will pass on what I have learned to honor the teachers before me who developed the art.

Unfortunately I’m not in law enforcement. I’m not a soldier where I can say this particular move killed a terrorist and rescued a hostage in 2 seconds. I’m not even a reserve officer. I’m a nerd. I don’t plan to be a neighborhood watcher or bouncer or put myself in any position where I would likely use the skills I’ve been taught. I’m not even a movie stunt double (and don’t plan to be).

The suburb I live in is nice and quiet. We are not at war.

How else would I know if the skills I’m learning actually work unless I use them in high stress situations? Would I break down and panic under pressure? And ultimately, how would I be credible enough to pass on what I’ve learned unless I’ve personally tried and tested the techniques I learned?

To me that’s what tournaments are for. In a time of peace, it is a testing ground for what you THINK you already know. Not only of the techniques, but also of yourself and your own reactions. This is one aspect where free sparring and drills come short of.

And of course, win or lose tournaments are a lot of fun. =)

Ready.. FIGHT!

Most of the time I feel that way in this style I’m studying. I worry that the techniques were not made for someone like me, much like the way that broadsword wasn’t really appropriate for Ibn Fahdlan.

For a martial art that stresses both speed and power, it is brutal on my shoulder. After over a year of diligence my arm is quite literally about to fall off, and I’m still not strong enough.

A rookie just smashed through my defense during one of the drills and hit me right in the face, and I have to wear an 8 strap all the time now.

Sometimes I think about working with another style that doesn’t require so much brute force, but on the other hand I already like the people I’m with.

Should I study with a group whose techniques seem more appropriate for me but whose members may rub me off the wrong way sometimes, or should I stick with the people I already like even if the techniques weren’t made for such a fragile person?

Right now I’m inclined to stay with the people I like even if the techniques are killing me. Mainly it’s because the blood sweat and tears that inevitably comes with mastering a craft become easier to bear with friends rather than people you would like to remain mere acquaintances with.

If I can’t grow any more stronger (because I started martial arts a heck of a lot older than most people do), then maybe someday, as one of my forum friends told me, I could take those moves that were made for someone else and make it my own.

Much like the way Ibn Fahdlan took that broadsword and reshaped it to suit his purposes.

There are times when everything seems so big and there’s nothing you can do about it. But take a few steps forward and what had seemed insurmountable will be behind us. Time can do that, inexorably moving us on even though we may want to stay a little longer.

This picture was taken beneath the late bloomer, several days after its glorious profusion of red. A few more days and these will have blown away or washed out by the rain, reminding us that these too are passing us by as the seasons progress.

The more important thing, I believe, is to never forget to look up every once in a while.